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IN GNOME MAN’S LAND 

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IN 

GNOME MAN’S 
LAND 

B Y 

O. H. VON GOTTSCHALK 



NEW YORK 

FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY 
PUBLISHERS 



THE LIBRARY OF 
CONGRESS. 

Two Copies Receive* 

SEP 21 1903 


Copyright Entry 



ys-^n 

' COPY 3. 


Copyright. 1902. by 

O, H. VON GOTTSCHALK 

Published September, 1905 



■rx&i&t:'/.' 

The trees We bedecked with their dresses of plaid, 

The air’s cri^p and bright and the yong birds a^re glad. 

Yet Willie, disconsolate, wanders around 

And wishes he knew how the trees underground. 

After dying, the very next spring bloom &.gain. 

“They must live.” he declares. “in & Fairy’s domain,** 



You're invited to cadi and your guide I will be. 

So come with me now if you’re anxious to see.” 
Then the sly little Gnome, with a. wink of one eye. 
Made Willie, our friend, &.bout three knuckle,/* high. 



Their journey commenced at a. hole near a> rock. 
Where bouncing black beetles gave Willie a. shock. 
The cave was quite dark, but it soon became light. 
And Willie beheld a. most wonderful sight; 

For, jostling and crowding, tramp, tramp, o’er the floor. 
A vegetable army marched in through a door. 




Some neat Carrot soldier./ stood nobly at ease 
And looked at our Willie as bold as you please. 

Each Turnip and Carrot, Potato arid Beet, 

Cucumber and Onion, had sma.ll hand./ and feet. 
“Make way,” cried the Gnome, “for a mortal ur here 
To pay hiV respect to your monarch so dead*!” 






’Neath arches of Acorns festooned with Fireflies, 


Mid paJms of the Rhubarb and caged crickets* cries. 
Past flower beds of Lettuce, all fragrant with earth. 
They marched two by two, hearing music and mirth, 
To where the great King, at the end of the hail. 

Was giving his subjects their annual ba.il. 




“A boy!” cried the Monarch. “And why conies he here? 
To fea.st on our freshest and youngest, I fe^r!” 

“No, yire,” said the Gnome; “he’s not hungry and we 
Are bound for the Kingdom of Flowers, you see. 

And cra.ve your permission, for pa.ss your domain 
We must ere we come to the flowers dtg&Jn.” 



<4 *Tis granted, but ere you proceed on your way 
I hope in my kingdom youil make a. short stay.*' 
Then Willie in state s aw each phase of the ball— 
The Katydid Orchestra up on the wall. 

The vegetables dancing, the supper room grand- 
And all was quite gay till the King raised his hand. 




The hsJl is not over, yet guests, one and all. 

Take se&is in long rows round the queer banquet hall, 
And up near the throne with the King and the Gnome, 
Poor Willie is trying to feel quite zs.t home. 

When out steps & Cucumber, slender and long, 

“‘Hre Royjv.1 Corn Ballet !” he shouts to the throng. 
— — — 



Then, swishing' soft husks of bright yellow and green. 
The Sweetest Corn BaJlet make.r brilliant the scene. 
The dancers are nimble, they twine in and out, 

And twkrt and spin round till the vegetables shout. 
The King cracks a joke: “Aren’t they funny, the dears? 
They seem to have eyes, but you see they're all ears! '* 



A heavyweight Melon who weighed sevraJ pounds 
Boxed Young Sweet Potato a. few lively rounds, 
And ea.ch time he landed Potato struck back 
So hajrd Willie fe&j-ed thaa f&a Melon would crack. 
But Melon w^s gaone, and , to Willie’s surprise, 
fie outpunched Potato and blacked both his eyes. 




Tomato, his second, w^s watching the fray. 

And during scuffle he got in the way. 

Potato struck Melon and down Melon s&i 
Kerplunk on Tomato arid squashed him quite flat! 
“Poor Tom was too ripe!” cried the King in dismay. 
‘'So mop him up quickly and taJce him &>w &.y!” 



A wonderful room wzvs the Bedroom of State 
To which Willie went when the hour w&s quite late. 
Four toaulstooLr unique were the posts of the bed, 

A spider web canopy hung overhead. 

fPte spread wa^s qf com *rilk & silkworm ha.d knit. 

The light V/&.S candle firefly had lit. 



At bre&Jrfayt the King served a very queer mead; 
Instead of thick cream arid a. lot of oatmeaJ 
They ate bottled ^un^hine arid drank potted air. 

With plenty of water. “A plain bill of fare, 

I know,” id the King, “but you’ll thrive on it here, 
And grow big arid strong, too, my lad, never fear.” 



“My gondola*, waits/* ./-aid the King, “and weil take 
A ride for a.n hour on my Underground LaJce.” 

They w&Jked to the shore and were &.11 soon afloat 
And speeding ground in a Summer Squash Boat. 
Our Willie was happy as happy could be 
And fed the ta.me frogs till they croaked in their glee. 




*The frog's were so thick that the boat was upset. 
And Willie, the King amd the Gnome all got wet. 
The Cucumber boatman in fright ran away. 

While up caane the guards in the greatest dismay. 
Our friends quickly went to the wet King’s relief 
And rubbed him quite dry with a big cabbage leaf, 




A 1 ady quite stout was the Vegetable Queen, 
Her scribe was a Cucumber slender and learn. 
Her pet caterpillars like dogs ram about, 


Cxcept when from gorging they suffered with gout. 
She heard that our Willie had come to her land. 
And had the boy call by her royal command. 




*Dre King introduced him as Willie came near, 

The Queen fixed her lorgnette and murmured, “How queer!” 
*Tbc tame caterpillar*/* each made an odd bow. 

To show this strange mortal that they well knew how. 
And Willie shrank back as he said in mock fright, 

“I hope, gracious lady, your dogs do not bite!” 





The Queen and our Willie, the King and the Gnome, 
All strolled in the gardens around the King’s home. 
*Ihe butterflies’ cage wa s aglow with bright wings. 
“They’re rare,” said the Queen; “for the beautiful things 
Escaped from the Laud of the Flowers, you see. 
And here they are caged foi His Highness and me. 




“These spiders, of course, la>ck the butterflies’ gra.ce. 
But we&^ve for us daily most exquisite lace. 

And only their keeper dare go in their cage 
Because they get angry and bite in their rage.” 

The keeper held up for our Willie to view 
A marvelous ^hawl with a pattern quite new. 



A Pe&. Porridge showman who haul ^ great show 
Ceune in under guajrd of two Halberds de Hoe 
To beg that the King and his friends would all view 
His wonderful circus so graoid and so new. 

The King and the Queen both exclaimed in delight, 
“We’Sl go, Willie dear, to the circus this night!” 




The nursery playroom they next went to see. 
Each child wa^y as noisy as noisy could be. 
One, teasing his grasshopper cat on the floor, 

Wa ws filling the room with an awful uproar. 
Another way screeching, “Don't put me to bed!** 
Another had tumbled and bumped its poor head. 




Dra,wn up into line were the HaJberd*/' de Hoe 
As Willie set out on his way to the ./'how. 

^The King' said the Gnome were the first to be seen. 
Then Willie came next, side by side with the Queen, 
Who brought her two pets, while her long, trailing skirt. 
Was held by two Pages aloft from the dirt, 




•ATgcTCr— 

The Nurses, each walking in manner yedaie, 

As practiced and taught by all Ladies qf State, 
Came leading the children, who thought all this pomp 
Way almost as funny ay having a romp; 

And one bright Nurse murmured, “Most poetry’s slow, 
But I like ‘The Vegetable Man With the Hoe.”* 




When Willie sat down in the box of the King, 

The circus parfe.de mfe.de a tour of the ring. 

The Vegetable Ba.nd. with its trumpets and drums. 
Led off with “ta-ra-ras!” and “rumpty tum-tums ! ** 
Two elephant snails set fe very warm pace 
And then came the mice lor the chariot ra.ce. 




The Wasp Turning Queen in her glass covered cage. 
With Tiger Wasps prowling around her in rage. 

Next showed how the fiercest qf beasts would obey 
And made the Wasps romp like tame kittens at play. 
Around the glass cage they would canter and j*kip» 
And jump through a hoop at the crack of her whip. 








The Pumpkin Stagecoach next caone out with a dash. 
Its swift white mice ponies all under the lash, 

For Vegetable Red Men, with whoop and with yell. 
Had made «an attack that was hard to repel. 

And when the dread scalping seemed just a.bout due, 
*Ihe Halberds rushed up and the Indians flew. 



While tumblers were vaulting the elephant snail 
The nurse of the Crown Prince let out a. long wail. 
In watching the flipflaps they all did so well 
Ihe princeling slipped from her and fell with a yell. 
A run and a jump and a somersault neat, 

And Carrot had caught the Crown Prince on his feet. 




As hundreds about them gave vent to their joy 


The Queen hugged and wept o’er her terrified boy; 
The King sought brave Carrot, his eyes full of tears. 
And shrill were the bravos and loud were the cheers. 
As pinned on the breast of young Carrot was seen 
The Medal of Honor— a. brown kidney bean! 



‘The Crown Prince and Willie, the Gnome, King' and Queen, 
Next went where the aoiimads fierce could be seen. 
Where red lizards ran up the ca^ge walls in play 
And hoptoads hopped round in a hair raiding way. 
“O mamma! O mamma!” the Prince cried in glee. 
“I want a nice toadhop to take home with me®” 




Two Heralds appeared, and each blew a. loud blast; 
Our friends were all bound for the Palace at last. 
As onward they marched, each with dignified stride. 
The voice of the “Barker” was heard at one side: 
“Come in! Have a look! Have a. look, all of you! 
For ten cents— a. dime— all the freaks you may view!" 



Soon softer the circus an early rose dew 
Was served to our friends— a concoction quite new. 
While Halberds de Hoe stood on guard at the door 
Mi sx Daisy Potato sang songs by the score. 

She*d iuxi struck her top note, a wonderful height, 
When in rushed a courier trembling with fright. 



Tfa King read the message: “Prepare for a siege! 
The army worm threatens our kingdom, your liege!” 
One guard way so scared by the terrible news 
Hir eyes opened wide a.nd he shook in his shoes. 
And dropped in dismay on the messenger’s toe 
His weapon of warfare, a big garden hoe. 




The Vegetables gathered from fax and from near 
The news of the army worms’ coming to hear. 
“You’re loyal and brave,” said the King, “and I know 
That all are quite willing, if wanted to go. 

As soon as the army of worms is in sight 
My Halberds de Hoe will lead on to the fight.” 




Each Halberd then off to the Armory ran, 

To win or to die like a brave ’tater man. 

And loud was the weeping of sweethearts and wives, 
Who feared that the Halberds would soon lose their lives. 
^Ihe cruel command war soon heard through the hall: 
“Attention De Hoes! Forward march, one and ail!” 



The Halberds de Hoe were a.11 formed into line. 
And ti> them the Queen gave a, banner quite fine, 
She spoke of the motto embroidered in red. 

Of glorified heroes both living and dea.d. 

“Sic semper tyrannis! Go forward, my Hoes, 

And under thlr banner deal death to our foes!” 




*Pre RoyaJ Squash Coaxh, bright in hue arid four wheeled. 
By mice fleet and white wa*r then drawn on the field. 
*fl?e King aoid our Willie in sta.te had both come 
To see the Hoes march at the bea^t of the drum. 
And proud were the Hoes as that glorious day 
They parsed in review on the way to the fra.y. 



The morn of the battle a. voice loud arid clear 
Cried “Charge !” arid the Hoes gave a wild, ringing cheer. 
With long, swinging strides the command they obeyed. 
And moved toward their foes, who seemed quite undismayed; 
For, wholly unheeding the Hoe./* and their steel. 

The army worms flanked them by making a wheel. 




The carnage that followed was awful to view 
A>* over the meadow the Hoes madly flew. 

The worm./* were all experts in making attacks 
And chased the Hoes fiercely to crawl up their backs. 
The Hoes dropped their weapons, and when all was o'er 
The worms had more hoe./* than a big hardware store. 





The aide came arid went in the greatest of haste— 

He had not a moment to spare or to waste - 
And urged his white mouse, which was sturdy and fast* 
Until he arrived at the circus a.t last. 

And cried, “By this signet, the hoe of our King, 
“The Tiger Wasps to him at once you murt bring!** 



The Tiger Wa.sp^* ca>ge wa>s a^t once trundled out 
In view of the worms all were anxious to rout. 

The door was then opened while Willie stood by. 
And out caone the Wa^sps, one, two, three, on the fly.’ 
The King gave a >*hout, but his warning wa^s vain— 
A Wasp stung poor Willie <irid gave him grea.t pain. 





The au-my worms fled, but were soon out breath i 
The Tiger Wasps chafed them and yUing them to death, 
While up on the bluff, with hur face very sore. 

Our Willie was helped by the hospital corpy. 

And, listless amd paJlid, our boy once so gay 
Was placed on a stretcher and cajried away. 




The war was now over a.nd back from the fray 
Came Halberd./ de Hoe. who had all run awa^y. 

But said they’d fight better on some future da*y. 
Their wounds were all healing and dried were their tears. 
And Willie, the boy who had routed their fear./, 
Wa^r hailed as a hero a.nd given three cheery*. 




A banquet wa.s held at the Palace and all 
The Vegetables came at the King's urgent call 
To hear Willie speak on “The Army Worm's Fall.” 
While Willie described how their foes had all died 
A Sunflower was brought to the joyful King's side. 
“You come from the Uand of the Flowers !** he cried. 






The Sunflower ca.me into the Court the next day 
To pilot the Gnome arid our Willie away 
From King and from Queen and from Vegetable Land 
And yhow them the Kingdom of Flowery, ay planned. 
The King said to Willie, “We wish you much joy. 
And Pepper, our artiyt, must paint you, my boy.’* 





While Pepper, the artist, with all of his skill, 

On canvas placed Willie by royal command. 

Our Willie, the Hero of Vegetable Land. 

“He look*/* like a Radish!” the King cried in glee, 
“And thawt,” murmured Pepper, “is true eat, you see!" 


I 



The Order of Hoebites, mo/t secret and grand. 

Was joined by our Willie in Vegetable Land. 
“Wherever they wander,” said Grand Master Corn, 
“The yign of the Hoebitey will help the forlorn.” 
“When you are in trouble,” said Radish, High Chief, 
”J ust wiggle your eary and you’ll soon get relief.” 





Thai night in the Padace a. map way unrolled 
And hung on the wall and our Willie wa.s told 
How, leaving the Vegetable Kingdom behind, 

A tourist the Kingdom of Flowery could find. 

“The way is not ea.sy,** the Sunflower made cleay, 
“But trust to my guidance and be of good cheer.” 




%< Ihe Vegetable Kingdom was sprinkled with te&.rs 
When Willie set out amid weeping' and cheers*. 

The Vegetable People in line stood for hours 
To see him set out for the Kingdom of Flowers. 
The Gnome and the Sunflower were both at his side. 
The Gnome ^s companion, the Sunflower as guide. 




The King and hL/^iidble./* ^had carefully^ | 

To go to the edge of the Vegetable fcaftd 
And there amid weeping and sorrowful groans 
They saw Willie enter the Forest of Cones. 

He waived a goodby to the Vegetable Clan. 
Then off toward the Kingdom of Flowers he ran. 






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